Confessions of...

Confessions of a Non-Existent Mind


1. I have guns growing out of my bones. It hurts, sometimes.
2. Sometimes I like to imagine pigs teaching time to fly. This thought makes me smile.
3. My brain gets stuck sometimes, and I have trouble switching from my internal monologue, to external dialogue.
4. Sometimes, to prove to myself that I exist, I bleed. I don't cut myself, prick myself, stab myself, or bite myself. I just bleed.
5. Some say 3 is a crowd. I think it depends on how big of a room you're in.
6. I've found that applause is an addiction. Like heroin, or checking your email.
7. I believe that the moon is a myth. It's just the other side of the sun.
8. Living is a state of mind.
9. Have you ever walked into a room and forgotten why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
10. As children, we're all told that we're unique. Doesn't that make us all the same?
11. The more often you "hit the nail on the head," the sooner your coffin will be sealed.
12. I find that hyperboles are a great way to get someone's attention.
13. My favorite colors are those that you would find in a nasty bruise. Such as mustard yellows, and threateningly violent purples.
14. "Normal" people often mistake my ramblings for those of a madman.
15. Madmen often mistake my ramblings for those of a politician.
16. I find that hyperboles are a great way to get someone's attention.
17. I once bartered away my freedom for a collection of stamps. I have yet to regret the decision.